You're Welcome, World.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was weird like me?

Not being a couple-y person, and yet being one of a couple this year, Valentine's Day presented a bit of a challenge. I love celebrating with candy, spending time with my friends, and enjoying the generally cheesy atmosphere, but when it comes to doing something romantic with my significant other, I'm at a loss. I don't enjoy contrived romance, and romantic gestures actually make me kind of uncomfortable. So when challenged to create a V-Day gifty I came up with this:

A creepy horror-show of awkward

I'm a lucky girl, because I work with one badass crafter, perhaps known to you from from her blog, The Importance of Being Alix. We have all kinds of fun in the office,  including taking awkward staff photos for our new website. When I saw the montage of my face I knew I had the perfect gift opportunity to simultaneously amuse and horrify my poor, innocent boyfriend.

Here are instructions on how to create your own horror gift for that special moment with your special someone:

1) Don't make the mistake of going to a "real" camera shop. Take those suckers to CVS on a USB key and print them out - 9 each! - for the insignificant price of 20 bucks.

2) Get yourself a frame. I was looking for a tacky, montage-y thing (wedding style, but not so wedding that it looks like I'm getting my boyfriend a wedding present, can you dig?), but I couldn't find one suitable! Can you imagine!? Instead, I bought a modest, three wallet-sized black frame.

3) Embellish, embellish, embellish. I cannot stress this enough. Buy glittery nail polish, not one bottle, but two. Get those LED stars with sticker backs that you can switch on and off, for maximum tacky effect.

4) Take some time to subtlety slip away from your desk during the work day, so you can apply two coats on nail polish to your frame without anyone noticing. Advance preparation is for the weak!

5) Realize your failure to be subtle when you come back with a dry, but incredibly smelly frame that immediately stinks up the whole office.

6) Wrap it in that leftover tissue paper and ribbon your boss used for your Christmas present.

7) Surprise and delight horrify your unsuspecting love interest by forcing him to open his present while trying to order dinner.

See!? You too can have the perfect, romantic Valentine's date with these simply, easy-to-follow instructions (works best if your boyfriend accidentally knocks water all over himself immediately after).

Yours with love,
Awkward-sauce Truly

Desktops

I always love changing up my desktop background - the plain blue makes me a little crazy and I like to have something new and fresh every once in a while. It's a little like buying myself flowers (but free)! This is a recent find for simple, creative backgrounds that I love. Check them out here. And a couple of my favorites:

Created by Pezinho

Created by Chiara V.

Susan G. Koman: Race for the Politicization of Women's Health

My good friend and former roomie can more personally, articulately and accurately discuss this controversy than I. Please check out her post at The Mcdermott Minute.

It started out like this:

"Once, an old lady called the desk to ask me if she could donate her husband's body to the university for scientific research, and in the background, I could hear a man shouting, 'I'm not dead yet!'"


and I laughed, and then it got scary and really, really good. Check it out:

We're All Murderers Inside Our Own Heads, or The Time My Boss Wanted to Kill Me - by Mike Dang, via The Hairpin